Everything these days is now available on an app, you want food, there is an app for it, you want a cab, there is an app for it and now if you want to meet someone there are countless apps for it.
It has become a numbers game, some are going on dates to feed their insatiable ego and get some validation while others are out there to find their one true love. Like me, searching for that dark haired tall ‘Prince’ they always dreamt of as a little girl.
Dating is great, an opportunity to doll up, have a relaxing evening with someone you like and see if it goes anywhere. But the more dates I go on, the only place where some guys want to take it to is their bed. Now that is fine, if you both want something casual but for a girl like me who isn’t looking for a ‘wham, bam- thank you mam’ the whole thought of it makes me want to barf a little in my mouth. In fact, I just thought about it and swallowed it back down-
Gone are the days when a gentleman would pick up the phone on a Sunday/Monday asking how your day was and if you had any availability to join him for a drink or dinner. These days, you match on an app, exchange a few shallow words, followed by a shallow drink the next evening- where your date susses out if he or she is coming home with you. If he is smart about getting laid, he drops you off home and says good night- if he is an idiot, he asks you 5 times on your door step if you really want him to leave? Even though you spent the entire evening telling him you are NOT that kind of a girl. Yes, I know a lot of girls say they are ‘not that kind of a girl’ but when a girl says no to you once, you would think he would take a hint and take the high road.
What amuses me and my girlfriends when we discuss this over brunch or in our ‘group chat’ as you know us girls share everything, is how some guys these days think by offering us a mediocre evening on the day that is convenient for them; we should come running in our heels as if we didn’t have any plans ourselves.
Some men in their 20’s think if that if they do dinner with you, that means they are in a relationship so their alternative tactic is to text you at 3 am or 5 am (depending how long he was at the party before trying to get laid) asking you,
- ‘What are you doing?’
- ‘Can I come over?’
- ‘Can you come over?,
The third one makes me laugh a lot though; why on earth would any intelligent woman leave her bed at 3 am? Her warm bed, where she is safe and sound dreaming of Brad Pitt. And let’s be honest, none of these guys on these apps look like Brad Pitt- so it does not make sense to why I would want to leave my bed at that hour.
You ask a guy to make reservations, he thinks you are high maintenance- It is as if we should not have any expectations but we should meet your expectations of wanting to give it up easy
It is not that I am a prude or judge people having casual sex or wanting to keep things casual but the art of dating has become so laid back and so boring that I as a woman in her 20’s do not find appealing. Perhaps those days are gone, where a man in a dashing suit would pick you up at your door step, perhaps with a rose but I am willing to wait years (even decades) for that gentleman.
Because all these text messages from 11 in the night to 5 am…. I have 1000’s of them so they do not entice me or even intrigue me- the only thing they do is make me realise that you definitely are not the one I will be sharing my bed or heart with tonight or ever-